A Marshmallow: Chapter 19
Chapter 19: Going Home with Him
Jiang Yan's voice was soft, with a hint of a nasal tone, affectionate in a way that couldn't be expressed.
Gu An suddenly felt that not growing up was fine.
She could always be treated like a child by him, rely on him, and even cry in front of him like she was doing now.
But tied to the word "liking" was possessiveness.
She wanted this person not to be dependent on others, not to treat others like children.
Just, to be hers alone.
Jiang Yan didn't know what peculiar thoughts were going through the little girl in front of him. "Gu An."
Gu An looked up, her eyelashes still moist, and she spoke with a noticeable nasal tone, "What's wrong?"
With his height of 187 centimeters, he bent down, so she still had an effortless direct line of sight.
His crew cut made him irresistibly handsome, his skin was a cool, pale white, while his eyebrows, eyelashes, and even his pupils were purely black. When he had no expression, he appeared even more restrained and excessively handsome.
And now, those beautiful eyes blinked at her without pause, with the corners of his eyes slightly curved, and his pupils bathed in the afternoon sunlight, displaying a gentle warmth.
"You need to eat well and study hard."
"Don't let a little boy trick you with a movie ticket."
"I'll take good care of your brother, so you don't need to worry about him."
Even though they had known each other for a year and had become very familiar, most of the time, she would be the one chattering beside him, and he would mostly respond with a simple "Hmm."
This was the first time in a long time that she had heard him speak so much.
His cold and crisp voice was chilly yet gentle, with clear and light enunciation.
Like a parent dropping off their child at daycare for the first time.
His hand touched the top of her head gently, and then he stood up straight. Her gaze shifted from looking straight ahead to looking up.
The sunlight was completely blocked by Jiang Yan, who stood tall and slender against the backlight. He softly said:
"Gu An."
"Goodbye."
-
With Gu An gone, Gu Zhen and Jiang Yan returned home after work, sitting side by side on the couch like two empty-nest elderly people.
Two young, handsome empty-nesters exchanged silent glances, feeling that something was off.
Gu Zhen lounged on the couch lazily, thinking to himself, 'An elder brother is like a father indeed.'
His top-tier parents, Gu An's mom and dad, were unreliable, and it made him experience the responsibilities of being a father many years ahead.
"I now understand why at weddings, the brides' fathers are often in tears."
Gu An leaving home had somehow made him associate it with other families marrying off their daughters. The frustrating feeling probably matched what he was experiencing now – a mix of discomfort and emptiness.
Beside him, Young Master Jiang had a face as cold as snow, with a perennial lack of emotion, as if his facial development had gone awry. Despite being schoolmates at the police academy for four years and colleagues for three, Gu Zhen had only realized in the past year that this young master could actually smile, and his smile was exceptionally gentle and harmless.
But he only smiled under one condition – when he faced Gu An.
That little guy, with her innocent, piglet-like face, was truly lovable.
Jiang Yan lowered his gaze, and on the coffee table, there was a big bag of snacks Gu An had bought earlier. Since she hadn't finished them and couldn't take them with her, he carefully sealed the bag with a clip.
When she was at home, the television was in full use, constantly playing various lively sounds. From food documentaries to cooking tutorials, health programs to anime, and even traditional comedy shows and compilations of past Spring Festival Gala skits.
Accompanying these sounds was a human cub who couldn't stop laughing, either a hearty "haha," murmuring, or the crisp sound of her munching on chips or apples.
She would happily run around the house in her little lamb slippers all day, lively and adorable, like a ray of sunshine.
And now, she was gone.
-
Artistic training is an experience that every art enthusiast must go through.
Gu An's life transitioned from attending classes, taking exams, and doing homework to drawing, endlessly drawing, with sketching and color studies occupying her entire life.
Her white paint ran out, she replenished it, and it still wasn't enough.
And so, from the scorching summer to early autumn, to one morning when she pushed open the window and saw the whole world covered in silver.
For six months, there was not a single day where she allowed herself to be lazy, not a single time she indulged in sleeping in.
Even when she had a cold and a high fever, she would sit alone in her dorm and practice, analyzing her shortcomings.
The only relaxation she had was perhaps during the intervals of drawing portraits, sketching someone from her imagination.
Sword-like eyebrows, almond-shaped eyes, dimples.
Narrowed eyes, furrowed brows, expressionless.
Tender, distant, helpless, indulgent.
By the end of December, the provincial joint examination was approaching, and Gu An's mentality began to crack under the prolonged stress.
She watched her classmates progress rapidly, getting better and better.
Meanwhile, whenever she sat down to draw, her mind went blank, and the brush in her hand felt like a blade, causing her palms to ache.
She thought of Gu Zhen, who, at such a young age, started taking care of a child.
At his age, he should have been out drinking and joking with friends.
Instead, he bought a house, brought her to live with him during high school, and paid the high fees for her art education.
She told herself she had to work hard, to live up to her brother's sacrifices, but the more she thought this way, the greater the pressure she felt.
She was afraid her performance in the exam would falter, afraid her art wouldn't measure up, and afraid that, in the end, all her efforts would be in vain.
Afraid of disappointing her brother and him.
Clearly, they are both so excellent.
So, she had to shoulder it all on her own.
Gu An went out to wash her face, composed herself, and returned to the art studio.
Every moment counts before the exam, and she didn't dare to waste a single second. She stayed in the studio until late at night.
Her fellow students left sporadically, and in the brightly lit room, there were numerous canvases, easels, paints, and just her.
A profound silence reigned, and the second hand of the wall clock ticked away.
Gu An crouched down and buried her face in her arms.
She didn't know how much time had passed when the ringtone "Banana Song" by the Minions started playing.
Gu An rubbed her eyes, and her vision cleared. The lit screen of her phone displayed a note:
Jiang Yan.
She took a deep breath, swallowed the bitterness in her throat, made sure her voice sounded normal, and then answered, "Brother Jiang Yan, have you finished work?"
"I just finished my run," Jiang Yan replied while walking. His voice was slightly breathless.
Gu An's ears inexplicably warmed. "Hmm."
"Are you doing okay lately?"
Gu An obediently nodded, then realized he couldn't see it and quickly spoke, "I'm doing pretty well."
There was a brief pause on the other end of the phone, and then the person she liked softly asked, "Is something bothering you?"
"No, it's just that the pressure is a bit much..."
Gu An sensitively felt her eyes getting warm, a prelude to tears.
She truly hated how easily she teared up and despised herself for not being strong at all when faced with someone she relied on.
Like a spoiled child with a nose in the air.
She just wanted to share something happy with him.
She didn't want to call Jiang Yan in tears, even though she really wanted to hear his voice.
So she began to figure out how to hang up in her mind.
"Gu An, you haven't left yet?" A classmate suddenly pushed the door open, picked up her phone from beside her seat, and said, "My phone was left in the art studio. I'll go ahead!"
Gu An nodded and bid her classmate goodnight.
"You're still in the art studio."
"Yes..."
Gu An tightly held her phone close to her ear.
That was the source of all her courage.
On the other end of the phone, Jiang Yan's tone softened unconsciously. "Go back now, wash up, and sleep."
Gu An didn't say it, but she had been suffering from insomnia since December. Even if she went to bed early, she couldn't sleep at night. She would stay awake until early morning, and when she finally fell asleep, it was fitful, and she would wake up at the slightest noise.
But she obediently stood up. She didn't want him to worry, even though he was already so busy and tired with work.
"Are you on your way back?"
Gu An locked the door. "Yes, listen, the sound of locking the door."
On her way back from the art studio to her dorm, the gentle moonlight fell silently, accompanying her, much like his quiet gaze upon her.
"Gu An, you're still young now, and you think the college entrance exam is the most important thing."
"But in reality, when you grow up, you'll realize it's just an exam that doesn't determine much."
"Your life has ten thousand possibilities. Even if you fail once, there are still nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine possibilities waiting for you."
His voice was pure, like a clear spring, but it fell into the depths of her heart as if it turned into water.
Gu An hesitated to hang up the phone, quietly freshened up, and lay on her small bed, looking at the clock that displayed 1:00 AM.
"Brother, you should hang up and get some rest. I'm not feeling down at all now, really..."
She wrapped herself tightly in her blanket, her face against the soft, fluffy pillow.
While she said this, in her heart, she thought, if he could stay with her a bit longer, just a little longer...
"Go to sleep," his icy tone sounded surprisingly gentle, right in her ear. "Brother will hang up once you're asleep."
-
At the end of December, the provincial joint entrance examination arrived as scheduled.
Before the exam, Gu Zhen made a video call, that same handsome yet mischievous face, speaking in a careless tone, "Gu An, can your big brother afford to raise pigs?"
At this moment, Jiang Yan's face appeared in the camera, a handsome guy with fair skin and clean eyes, speaking in the most serious tone while saying something unserious, "In case Gu Zhen can't afford the feed, brother has money and can sponsor it."
Gu An couldn't help but chuckle, her eyes narrowing into crescents.
The anxious bottleneck period passed, and the fine arts category provincial joint entrance exam lasted for two days.
Gu An felt she performed well, and after finishing, she didn't dare to slack off. She immediately began preparing for the upcoming school exams.
In February, Gu An set off to take the school entrance exams for the university she had her heart set on, facing her final hurdle before the college entrance exams.
The exam required her to bring all the tools for sketching, including but not limited to various drawing tools, easels, boards, and paints. Apart from her luggage, just the art supplies weighed dozens of pounds.
Fortunately, she was one of the stronger sisters in terms of physical strength.
Previously, she had developed it while helping her aunt exchange the old gas tank for pure water at home.
The provincial test center was located in the provincial capital, so she needed to go to the high-speed rail station and take the high-speed train.
Gu An stood on the roadside, debating whether to take a taxi or a bus.
Snowflakes fell softly, catching her by surprise as the first snow of the winter arrived.
She reached out to catch a snowflake, thinking that the next time it snowed, her exams would be over, and she could go build a snowman. So she had to give her all in the upcoming test!
The bus approached from a distance, and Gu An picked up her luggage.
Heh heh, Jiang Yan surely couldn't imagine that she had this much strength! She had to keep that hidden and maintain her cute image, like the type of girl who can't even open a bottle cap.
"Are you planning to go to the exam looking all pitiful like this?"
A calm and soothing voice, along with snowflakes, gently fell upon her ears.
Gu An's heart skipped a beat as she turned to see Jiang Yan standing at the door of the art studio, next to the black Land Cruiser.
"Brother Jiang Yan..."
Jiang Yan responded with a casual "Hmm" and raised an eyebrow.
During the past half year of art training, Gu Zhen had visited her two or three times. Each time, they exchanged only a few words, and then he would receive a call for overtime from the bureau. She mostly heard about him from her brother.
He had solved several major cases during this time and had earned accolades.
How many young girls followed him, swooning, asking for his contact information? Half of them were given the official number in an ethereal manner, and the other half were told he only used message-in-a-bottle.
Jiang Yan was wearing her favorite white down jacket, and his slender and fair appearance made him look even more clean and youthful in white.
"Why did you come?" Gu An blinked her eyes, afraid that if she blinked too many times, he would disappear.
He took her luggage from her hand, gently placing it in the SUV's trunk, his face pale and distant. "To accompany the leader to the exam."
Gu An pursed her lips, but she had her own ideas, determined to pout for all it was worth.
"Well, then, this is for you. Take it. It's really heavy..."
Jiang Yan lowered his gaze.
Gu Zhen had said that Gu An was only vulnerable in front of those she depended on. Just a while ago, she was moving heavy art supplies without wrinkling her brow.
In the blink of an eye, he became completely powerless.
He couldn't resist and looked down at her with a smile.
There was a clear light in the slits of his eyes, the curve of his eyes beautifully upturned at the corners, and his eyelashes carried a hint of amusement.
Gu An felt astonished but also had a sense of having her thoughts exposed, "What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing," Jiang Yan obediently took the drawing pad from her hand, "I'm following orders."
The exam began.
As Gu An sat in the examination hall, she felt an unusual sense of calm.
Outside, it was snowing, the world shrouded in a hazy gray, yet she felt at peace.
Perhaps it was because she knew that no matter the outcome, there would be someone waiting for her.
Her older brother might have already bought a lot of delicious treats for her return.
Fate had compensated her doubly for what it had once taken from her, back in her second year of high school.
She had prepared tirelessly for this exam, simulating it in her mind countless times.
Gu An put pen to paper, every stroke firm.
The day of the exam quickly came to an end.
The school gate was already crowded with anxious parents.
The scene was much like picking up a child from their first day at kindergarten, full of worry and anxiety.
Some classmates rushed into their parents' arms, coquettishly saying, "It's finally over, and I never want to draw again..."
Gu An looked at it, and surprisingly, she felt no envy and no nostalgic sadness.
Then, something caught her eye, and she smiled slightly at the corner of her lips.
His height of 187 cm and the conspicuous presence that set him apart from the other parents were impossible to miss.
The handsome man stood tall in his white down jacket, with fair skin, striking features, and a long, lean figure. His skin was pale, and his eyebrows and eyes were as black as ink. When he saw her, his eyebrows and eyes slightly curved.
"You've come to pick me up, hehehe!"
Gu An was dressed in a milky white down jacket, fluffy and soft like a chubby cloud.
The little cloud rubbed against the tip of her nose, the smile at the corner of her mouth growing wider, truly happy.
"Other kids all have their parents to pick them up," Jiang Yan's gaze was as clear as water, and he looked down at her.
But Gu An understood his implied message.
He meant that other kids have their parents to pick them up, so he couldn't let her be alone.
Jiang Yan's dimple at the corner of his mouth was so striking it was almost blinding. He gently ruffled her hair and said softly, "Come home with big brother."
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