A Marshmallow: Chapter 37

Chapter 37: Haven't Kissed Her Yet

This day has come at last. 

In the early hours of July 20th, at the Jing City Police Station, everything proceeded methodically in the dark. Jiang Yan had a stern expression, well-prepared, but before leaving, he noticed a peace amulet in the office desk drawer.

That year, he accompanied her to the temple in the mountains. She was a sixteen-year-old girl, devoutly making a wish, her doll-like face earnest.

In the midst of the deep mountains, lush greenery everywhere, under the sunlight, her eyes and brows were as soft as a painting.

She turned around with a small hand behind her back, smiling at him:

"I hope you and brother have a safe and successful year!"

Jiang Yan lowered his head and placed the peace amulet in his police ID, right next to his own photo. "Let's go."

Life's gears kept moving forward, and Gu An's summer vacation had barely begun before it ended.

She took on two jobs, filling her time completely. Every morning, she woke up at six, left at seven, cycled for forty minutes to teach children how to draw, tutored high school students in English at night, and would typically get back home around ten at night, exhausted.

In August, Gu Zhen returned from the neighboring province. He sat on the balcony all night upon hearing that Jiang Yan had gone to the southwest. The next day, his eyes were filled with red lines, and he hurriedly left when he received a call from work.

Apartment 1101 at Intercontinental Manor, it seemed like no one named Jiang Yan had ever lived there.

In September, school started, and Gu An spent her days in classrooms, art studios, dormitories, and the cafeteria.

Although Jiang Ning was in a romantic relationship, she still reserved time for her to visit the school track.

Everything followed the original trajectory step by step. If there was any difference, it was that Aunty An and Officer J's little comics had never been updated again. There were daily reminders in the comments on Weibo.

"Did my ship sail today?"

"Where did the artist go? Why isn't there an update? Please don't leave us hanging."

"I really want to see the continuation! It took two years to finally get a double arrow, from one-sided crush to mutual secret admiration..."

However, Gu An knew nothing about all of this. She hadn't logged into that account again, and she never mentioned the person she liked.

She couldn't mention it, couldn't think about it, yet she checked the news every day. She wanted to see his updates but also feared to see his updates.

November came, and her 19th birthday was just around the corner.

She used to eagerly anticipate growing up indefinitely, hoping to be closer to him, hoping to confess her feelings at 20.

But now, that person was no longer around.

She didn't know where he was, didn't know when he'd return, and didn't even know if he was still alive.

"How do you want to celebrate your birthday?" Jiang Ning began planning a week in advance. "Sister, let's watch a movie, then go shopping, eat some delicious food... if we have fewer classes, how about a short trip, just us two close friends?"

She never mentioned Jiang Yan's matter to Jiang Ning.

Jiang Ning, on the other hand, seemed to know everything.

Gu An chuckled and shook her head, her mouth's forced curvature could be easily disregarded, her voice was very soft: "Maybe it's better not to, it's a waste of time and money..."

She couldn't recall anything related to Jiang Yan.

But every corner of her life had traces of his presence.

Watching movies, she'd think of him saying, "I'll take you once, don't let a movie ticket from a little boy fool you."

Eating delicious food, she'd remember him going for barbecue after his nightly run, each of them holding skewers, walking home under the moonlight.

On her birthday, she'd remember her 18th birthday last year, how much she wanted to contact him for no particular reason and coincidentally received a message from him saying, "I'm downstairs." 

In the same season and weather as now, he and she walked on the path she traversed alone every day, admiring the scenery she wanted to share with him.

"The dress is lovely, but you're lovelier."

"Well , can you show me your little tiger teeth now?"

"I  want to see you smile."

Jiang Ning, feeling heartache, had no other choice but to embrace Gu An.

November 22nd, Gu An's birthday.

Jiang Ning coincidentally reserved the restaurant where Jiang Yan had taken her last year, the familiar setting and lighting, a sweet-smelling cake in front of them, and Gu An quietly reddened her eyes.

She took a deep breath and when she raised her head, her eyes curved, her lips pursed in a smile: "Thank you, Ning Ning, for celebrating my birthday with me!"

Her once chubby little face, now had a pointed chin, and her eyes, filled with little stars, hadn't lit up for anything, as if everything was okay, everything was good.

Jiang Ning suppressed his heartache, and his voice trembled slightly: "Make a wish, the birthday star's wish, the heavens will definitely give face."

"Really?" Gu An sniffled, "Don't treat me like a child." 

In the warm-colored light, she tightly held her hands together and closed her eyes.

He must live well in this world.

No matter which corner, whether he falls in love with someone else or not, he must live well, get married, have children, and enjoy grandchildren on his knee.

He doesn't have to be Gu An's boyfriend.

But he must be safe every year.

She opened her eyes, blew out the candle, and then noticed that Jiang Ning's eyes were red. She discreetly wiped away tears and asked, "What about you? Are all your wishes about him?'"

Gu An's lips curled lightly, her eyes momentarily dazzled by the light, and her eyes suddenly felt a bit sour.

The porcelain-like little doll face was tender and sweet. She smiled gently, revealing her small tiger teeth, and her tone was cheerful.

"I'm fine like this. It's quite good."

-

On June 1st, a year later, it was early summer, the sky was clear, and the cicadas chirped in waves.

Many people came to the temple to make wishes, wishing for success in their college entrance exams, a smooth path, for themselves and for others.

Gu An ascended the thousand steps, and the person who used to accompany her was no longer by her side.

Throughout this year, she had only one wish.

She repeated it in her heart ten thousand times every day, with no echo, only to say it to the gods.

In the deep mountains, the southwestern border was covered in tropical jungle. Young men in black training uniforms wore bulletproof vests on the outside. They were armed and vigilant after 316 days of careful preparation, waiting for the order to close the net.

"Young man, running so far at such a young age, is your wife willing?"

Jiang Yan smiled at the comment, "I don't have a wife."

"Oh? Doesn't look like it." The old police officer squinted at him.

He lowered his eyes, and his long and soft eyelashes were distinct. "I do have someone I like."

With a serious and devout expression, Gu An tightened her doll-like face. The summer sunlight couldn't bear to be harsh on her and added a gentle layer to her. She looked like she was surrounded by a soft halo.

She closed her eyes, and in her mind, she saw him smiling, frowning, and gently looking at her eye to eye.

Jiang Yan, stay safe year after year.

He was still so young, and life had countless possibilities.

Please, ensure that he returns alive.

With devout worship, Gu An shed silent tears down her cheeks.

— Jiang Yan, I really miss you.

The light was swallowed by the dark night, bullets were loaded, and everyone was on high alert.

Someone asked, "Are you scared?"

Scared?

Never been afraid.

Whoever fears death first will die first.

However, now, Jiang Yan had to admit that he had a deeper fear than death.

Afraid that he might never see his little girl again.

Gu An returned home and opened the WeChat chat box with Jiang Yan.

【Jiang Yan Ge Ge, happy birthday!】

Chat history continued:

【Jiang Yan Ge Ge, Happy New Year!】

【It's Mid-Autumn Festival! You should look at the moon!】

【Today I had a super delicious cupcake, want to see?】

【There's another boy chasing after me. Can you really break your leg from puppy love?】

...

Wherever her gaze fell, she was talking to herself, never receiving a response. But at the moment the messages were sent, Gu An's heart was in her throat.

What if?

What if he saw them?

What if he's coming back?

The messages sent out were like drops of water falling into the deep sea. Gu An took a deep breath and buried her face in her arms.

Over a thousand kilometers away in the southwestern border, the tropical jungle overhead blocked out the moonlight, and the ground was a tangle of roots. Special forces, detectives, anti-drug police, and snipers were all in position, drug-sniffing dogs poised with a commanding presence.

Just waiting for the final moment to deliver the fatal blow.

When the sun rises again, everything will come to an end.

Gu An stayed up until the early morning, her eyes closing in a daze.

In her dream, Jiang Yan was shot, his arterial blood flowing ceaselessly, and he was still chasing the last fugitive.

He had told her he was an atheist, but inside his blood-stained police identification, there was the protective charm she had once gotten from a mountain temple, firmly attached to his ID photo.

The scene changed, and he appeared back at home.

Sitting on the couch, relaxed posture, dressed in a light blue shirt with a soft texture, he held a military magazine in his hand.

And she woke up to find that it was all just a dream.

Time was still frozen in her 18-year-old summer when he turned to her and asked, "Big brother wants to go out and play. Do you have any recommendations?"

She couldn't care about anything else and cried, throwing herself into his arms. "I shouldn't have drunk. I should have bid you a proper farewell..."

He held her gently in his arms, just like the last time they met. His long fingers lightly pinched her nose, and he playfully called her, "Crybaby." 

Gu An opened her eyes, abruptly sitting up, her cheeks stained with tears.

The bedside digital clock displayed: June 2nd, 3 AM.

The sounds of people shouting angrily in his ears were constant, and fresh blood was thicker than the night.

Jiang Yan's arm had begun to numb due to excessive blood loss. He clenched his fist, the bullet clicking neatly into the chamber.

His marksmanship had always been precise, and he could outperform even professional sniper teams.

He took a deep breath, aimed one last time, and the gunshot was deafening.

For 316 days and nights, time froze. A line of police cars rushed out into the night, their red and blue lights piercing the darkness. The sirens blared, and in an instant, all the noise faded, and the sky brightened.

This was his 26th birthday.

Jiang Yan's handsome face was covered in blood, his jet-black eyebrows sharp, and his skin had a terrifying pallor. His eyes remained bright as ever.

His arm, hanging by his side, continued to bleed. The gunshot wound was likely to have hit an artery, concealed beneath his dark training uniform, so there was no visible wound, but one could guess that a bullet was there.

His brain began to blur, and old movies played frame by frame before his eyes. His master, who had died in front of him, and comrades he had fought alongside, were all drenched in blood. It was a chilling sight.

The sound of gunshots and the voices of people, full of sorrow and anger, mingled together, causing a splitting headache.

A small voice emerged, like a beam of pure, bright light.

"May you and brother be safe every year and succeed in everything!"

"How can you casually mention the word 'death' like that!"

In the pure moonlight, the young girl had just cried, her eyes red, and her childlike face was deadly serious.

In the pure moonlight, the young girl had just cried, her eyes red, and her childlike face was deadly serious.

She reached out and pinched his face with a soft and tender tone. She was someone who never had much temper, but she insisted on saying, 'Spit, spit, spit.'

Did she grow up well?

Would he still be able to see her?

She cried so much. If he were to leave this world, would someone wipe away her tears for her?

Jiang Yan closed his eyes, and the vision before him turned into the stars in the sky.

He hadn't even had the chance to kiss her.

Dying would be such a loss.

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